Are you ready to learn something about yourself this week?
Good! Because this week we’re talking about what it means to fully admit to yourself that something isn’t working for you anymore and that you need a change.
First, the pain.
Often, what comes before big change is feeling so freaking uncomfortable in your current situation that you have to admit that you can’t keep doing what you’ve been doing, even if you used to love it (or her/him/they).
It’s kind of like your favorite pair of jeans that used to make you feel super sexy.
Lately, you’ve noticed that you’ve got a little more “love” on your love handles. When you put on those jeans, they irritate your waist.
(There is nothing sexy about feeling like your circulation is being cut off. Am I right?)
Still, you keep those jeans in your closet, thinking that someday they will magically fit again.
You tell yourself you’re going to lose weight or find a better shirt to go with the jeans.
You make the mistake of wearing them to a party and spend the whole night tugging at the waist and unbuttoning them when you sit down (no one noticed, right?).
Still, when you get home you put those jeans right back in your closet. You aren’t ready to admit that they just don’t work for you anymore.
Careers can be like this too.
I was in a career that I loved, working for global nonprofits. It felt exciting and rewarding for a long time. But then it began to feel redundant and uninspiring.
I tried to distract myself from my unhappiness by
Changing companies, telling myself that it was the people that were the problem.
Taking on new responsibilities, thinking that if I added something new to my days, I’d feel better.
Starting a new hobby, telling myself I’d find my happiness outside of my career.
But, despite all these efforts, I wasn’t happy.
Here’s the thing.
You can distract yourself to avoid the truth, but it’s not going to change the truth.
You can distract yourself to avoid the truth, but it's not going to change the truth.
My truth was that I wanted to start my own business. I wanted to see if I could do it. And no matter what I did to distract myself, that truth wasn’t going away.
And I finally did. I finally got so uncomfortable that I quit my job and started my business.
What you should do now.
Perhaps you are wondering what your truth is. Often, it’s not obvious right away and it takes work to uncover.
Here’s a 5 minute exercise I want you to do to help uncover your truth.
Name something that makes you feel unhappy. Now ask yourself WHY 5 times. Each time ask WHY? to your previous answer.
Don’t think too much about it, just write down what comes to mind.
Did you have a big AHA? If not, ask yourself WHY? 5 more times.
Next week, we’ll be talking about when to get help. Until then, keep moving forward.