3 ways to spend quality time with your Sage

Last week, you met your Sage (also called your Leader Within).

But, there’s a problem. 

You forgot to ask where your Sage hangs out. After making a deep connection, now you can’t find them!

It’s kinda like the time you met your soulmate on a train and forgot to get their number before you got off at your stop. D’oh!

Good news! I’ve got some tips for finding your Sage so you can hang out ALL THE TIME!

Trust me, you want to hang out with your Sage. They are much more fun than your pesky Saboteurs.

First, a little reminder. Your Sage lives in your middle prefrontal cortex, insular cortex and parts of the right brain (#nerdalert). Your Sage’s focus is on thriving. The emotions it uses include curiosity, empathy, joy, creativity, peace and calm. Endorphins are your Sage’s favorite gift to you, which results in peaceful feelings and better performance.

You know when you are in the flow of a project? It feels like ideas and creativity are pouring out of you? You feel brilliant? That’s you hanging out with your Sage.

Here are three ways to spend more quality time with your Sage.


If you’re like me, your default thinking goes something like this: I don’t have enough money to launch that idea. I don’t know anyone who works at that place I want to work at. I’m not fit enough to train for an Ironman. 

You know what type of thinking this is? Survival thinking. It’s how your saboteur thinks. (Stay safe. Don’t take risks. Don’t put yourself out there.)

What if you switch things up and focus on what you do have? I can ask my friends if they want to be my guinea pigs to try out my idea (get creative). I have 1500 people in my LinkedIn network, I bet someone knows someone who knows someone at that company (get curious). I am fit enough to run a 5K (find joy). That’s Sage thinking. That’s thrival thinking.


I was at a networking event a couple weeks ago and a young man started telling me how rich and successful he is. I found myself thinking, this guy’s a windbag. But then I remembered that my Sage is empathetic and I started seeing him in a different light

Networking is a nightmare for a lot of people. This guy was nervous and he was trying to make himself look and feel powerful. Seeing this allowed me to shift how I interacted with him. I asked him, “So what does all of this success and wealth amount to for you?” He told me a story about how he grew up in foster homes. His success meant that he hadn’t let the system beat him. Wow. I never would have connected with him at this level if I’d judged him a windbag and moved on. 


Action builds confidence. Remember, your saboteur is trying to keep you safe. Assess the situation. Is your saboteur overreacting by telling you not to do something? Is there really a tiger around the corner ready to eat you or will reaching out to 10 people to talk about their career change probably not kill you? 

How will you spend time with your Sage this week?

Kirsten Bunch